Posts tagged "Mother"

Unpopular opinion time: Whenever I read about women with so much social and academic potential who become stay-at-home moms, I just become overwhelmingly disgusted and lose respect for them.

The Quadruple Goddess (Sol Ascendans)


The “Triple Goddess” was an idea first proposed by Robert Graves in “The White Goddess” and nowadays taken as gospel by modern neo-pagan groups. However, I have a problem with it – for the following reason. The “Triple Goddess” supposedly represents three ideals of womanhood, Maid, Mother and Crone, or to put it another way:

  • In the first stage of her life, a woman is a chaste virgin (Maid);
  • Then as she enters adulthood, she becomes a dutiful wife and home-maker (Mother);
  • Then she becomes a nice old Grandma (Crone).

Seen in this way, the Triple Goddess, far from representing the ideal of womanhood, represents the apotheosizing of a patriarchal, sexist and chauvinistic male idea of what womanhood should be.

If, however, The White Goddess had been written by a woman, i.e. a woman living in the twenty-first century, I suspect that the idea of a “Triple Goddess” would not have been proposed at all. Rather, she would have come up with the idea of a “Quadruple Goddess,” to wit:

  • Maid;
  • “Whore”;
  • Mother; and
  • Crone.

I.e. to represent the fact that in between being a Maid and settling down to become a Mother, most young women – and certainly all those of my acquaintance – want to spend several years going out and having a good time.

Read more at Sol Ascendans

Actually, I have The White Goddess sitting on my shelf within arm’s reach. The quadruple goddess is an interesting idea. I think, though, that—at least for me—she would still be represented by a triple goddess, except that Whore would replace Mother. That is: Maiden, Whore, Crone. I see no reason in my life to force motherhood upon myself when I’m not inclined to it in any way (nor do I expect I would be any good at it if it were forced upon me) and find my mothering someone else of no personal value.

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I told my mother I think I’m asexual


Or rather, yelled it at her.

I told her how uncomfortable I am with physical affection. “That maybe I should go to therapy to fix my intimacy issues”, I joked.

“Make sure you work on getting comfortable with guys, I want some grand-babies”, She joked back.

Then everything came out in a rush.

“To be completely honest… I don’t really have a preferred gender. I’ve never been physically attracted to anyone, ever. I can tell if people are beautiful, like you can tell if a painting is. But never like… “Damn, I’d hit that”, more like, “Wow, they have perfect bone structure”. Both men and women… equally. But not sexually. I honestly think I’m asexual. Like… for me at least… there is no correlation between love, sex, and attraction. I feel all of those things, but never at the same time for the same person… Yup.”

It wasn’t until I’d finished my rant did I realize I had been yelling. I felt angry and defensive, like I had something to prove.

She was quiet for a moment.

Then I changed the subject to buying a new car.

Flawless transition.

Ouch. I laughed, but I think it was laughing with you and not at you, but I’m honestly not sure. I’ve had moments where everything comes tumbling out like that and it’s not… really all that fun or even relieving. But your story about how it happened was a little funny, you’ve gotta admit.

Hopefully your mom’s not like, “Get out of my house” or anything.

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