this song would pierce her heart

Anonymous asked: I feel terrible reading about how other people connect with their deities. Some people literally speak with their patrons, but short of that it seems everyone but me has had metaphysical nudgings and whispers. I want to believe, but that would leave me forced to conclude that no god I pray to wants to communicate with me, which is an awfully unpleasant idea!

aviewintoyourworld:

littlecitywitch:

Hey lovely! Thank you so much for your question!

Honestly, I know how you feel. I’ve been there, and it sucks. I know some people who are still there, and who are okay with being there. I know some people who think it’s rude to ‘bother’ their gods other than when they need something ‘important.’ I’m of the belief that there’s no right or wrong way to do something; we are all different and learn and worship in different ways. What seems significant here is that you want to feel that connection, but aren’t. 

Though I don’t really work with deities anymore, it bothered me when everyone else had one and for some reason I thought I needed one (or two) as well. I had trouble hearing the deities who eventually spoke to me until I heard the plants, too, the words of the leaves and branches and trees echoing around me as I walked down the street. It is because of this estrangement from what spirits are that I find some types of witchcraft (and religion) to be not for me. What is a witch but a medium, a channel, a catalyst? (Since this is a witch blog I’m assuming that you’re coming to me from a witch perspective, sorry if that’s incorrect!) As witches, how can we work effective magic if we can’t channel the voices and energies of deities and spirits? 

In trying to formulate some sort of advice for you, I’ve been thinking back to when I first started to hear them, feel them, and actually begin to Work with them. Over the years I’ve come to the conclusion that all spirits and deities have different personalities, different energies - some may be more talkative than others. Some may be more guarded and closed off, less likely to be chatty and accessible. Maybe some of the deities you’ve been trying to contact don’t mesh with you energetically at the moment. Maybe they will in the future. It’s hard to know, but don’t give up! If you want to believe (in spirits), and have never been to a display of physical mediumship (particularly table tipping), I’d highly recommend it! ;) It’ll change your life!

But anyway, how to open yourself to conversations with deities? One of the most important steps is telling them that you’re open to them contacting you. Ask for signs, ask for contact. Make sure you let them know you want to be contacted. Keep that conversation going. It may be one-sided at first, but eventually they’ll probably talk back, or you’ll get the feeling that it ain’t workin’. If that’s the case, there’s nothing wrong with you - you might just have not found your right match yet. Some may find it blasphemous for me to suggest this, but IMO deities are a lot like people - no one will get along with everyone. There are some deities (and people) that I just don’t jive with. And that’s cool. Just spend time with those you do jive with. 

One thing that helped me connect was physically writing journal entries to the deities I wanted to contact. In my youth these were Hypnos and Thanatos, and later on and to a much lesser extent, Aphrodite. With the act of writing them about my day, concerns, wishes, prayers, accolades to them, etc, after some time I was able to connect very strongly with them and eventually got to the point of automatic writing, where I could channel their messages into writing, without paying any heed to what was written. Someone else was moving my pen. That’s when I could start to hear them, too - and it’s because of my experience here that I have no interest in communing with any spirits or deities who I can’t have this conversational, casual relationship with. We’re all different, of course, and it’s important to remember that different deities may choose to interact with different people differently. 

I hope that at least somewhat helps! Let me know if it does, I’d love to know how you’re doing on your journey!

xoxo

Great response, littlecitywitch!

I’m going to offer a slightly different perspective here, as a person who does speak to deities. But really, the advice is still the same, because it’s all common sense stuff.

Anon, please don’t feel bad about it. Plenty of people don’t speak to deity, or communicate with them. Those who can speak to deity or communicate in some way with deity are really a rarity, even in the Pagan world. Most of us who do speak to deity also go through periods where our deities don’t particularly feel like talking to us.

• Don’t feel a need to have a patron deity/a constant connection with a deity, and don’t be too worried about it.

I didn’t. When I was young, I mostly worked with the Chinese Pantheon, and I tried to speak to them in prayer, and in various ways, and I never got an answer. I didn’t even think Deity would bother to speak to me until Lucifer came along, and then suddenly lots of people were speaking to me, including Michael and Loki.

Why didn’t my native pantheon speak to me? I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t as proper as they liked (They tend to be a strict bunch, in my opinion), or maybe I was just knocking on the wrong door. Maybe they weren’t the ones who were supposed to work with me as actively as Lucifer does.

• Some people do it naturally, others hone their skills over years of efforts.

Yes, it is possible to hone your skills in this. I came into it naturally (though not without a fair bit of difficulty), but others I know (such as my parents’ senior in the practice) worked long and hard for it. For example, that senior actually meditated before the gods for 15 years straight, every evening. No matter how tired he was, or how bad his day had been, he meditated. Spend time connecting with the Divine.

• Maybe they are speaking with you, just that you may not have noticed.

Aspects of the Divine exist everywhere. Pay attention to things around you. Maybe it’s the storm that starts just as you get into shelter (yes that does happen to me on a semi-regular basis), or the breeze that gently cools you on a hot day, or even the sunrise, or the sunset. Don’t believe that you can only speak to Deity directly, that’s just limiting your range of communication. Even in normal human interactions, we communicate through speech (words, tone, etc), but most of our communication occurs though body language (expression, actions, etc). So why would you only expect to see and hear Deity? Can they not caress you through the wind, or kiss your cheek with gentle rain drops? Keep that sense of wonder in you.

• Just like any relationship, don’t rush into it. Take small steps.
• Do research, and try to find a deity that fascinates you and is compatible (to a large extent) to your beliefs and your attitude to life. 

Even before I started communicating with Lucifer, I was already doing a lot of His work. I was always the devil’s advocate, so to speak, always offering the alternative viewpoint, and different ideas. I loved knowledge, and I’ve always believed that knowledge was a key to almost everywhere. And since I’ve always remembered, I was always fascinated with Him, even when the only thing I knew about him was from Christianity.

• Wait for it.

If there’s one thing about the Divine, is that they do things on their own time and own agenda. You may have given up trying to speak with Deities (like I did), and suddenly one will pop up (like Lucifer did).

• It’s always worth it.

It is. Because after all that waiting, and all that work, that connection with your deity would be all the more appreciated, all the more cherished for it. So don’t give up, and don’t get discouraged.

(via tea-with-lucifer)

Forms of Devotionals

luxettenebris:

I’ve been doing some thinking lately, regarding a topic I briefly mentioned in my last post—spontaneous devotionals vs. ritualized, consistent devotionals.

At the start of my relationship with my patron, spontaneous devotionals were the only sort I did. Doing devotional work because I had to was unthinkable—I felt as though forcing myself to honor my god meant my work would lose all its sincerity and become a menial task.

I’ve often heard people relate forming patron relationships with deities like dating, and it seems like a pretty accurate metaphor. There’s the honeymoon phase, where everything you do is with your patron in mind, every breath you take becomes a whisper of love and thanks. Then you slowly start to peel away the romanticized view of your patron and relationship, and realize that like any relationship, this will take work from both ends.

The ‘honeymoon’ phase of my patronage lasted quite a while—two or three years, I would say. Within those years, I didn’t have to strain to hear or feel my patron—I knew he was there. It was like stepping outside and being aware of everything—the warmth of sunlight hitting your bare skin, the breeze playing with your hair, the smell of rain. I didn’t have to go looking for our connection, it was just always there.

This sensitivity to my patron made it easier to connect with him, and to break out into spontaneous devotional multiple times a day. It was something that came as naturally as breathing.

But now that I’m past that phase, now that I don’t sense him as easily anymore, I realize that I’ve been relying on him to instigate my devotionals. I was in need of constant reminders of his presence to acknowledge him, however easy it might have been.

Now I can go days, weeks even, without having that awareness of his presence. It’s getting harder and harder to be sincere in my work, and occasionally I forget why I do it. When I doubt myself or when I doubt Him, it’s a struggle to sing like I used to, or even just bask in his warmth. I know he’s still here, but it shouldn’t be his sole responsibility to tap into our connection. For so long, I relied on him to be the spark of inspiration necessary for my devotionals, that I forgot my role in our relationship. I can just as easily reach out to him, instead of waiting for him to reach out to me—I just refused to, be it because of my lack of faith, or my skepticism, or my lingering doubts.

And that, I see now, is where daily or ritualized devotionals come into play. While it may not be as heartfelt as spontaneous devotionals, it too serves its own purpose—and in my case, that purpose is to remind me of my patronage.

It is to remind me of the work I’ve done, the obstacles I’ve overcome, the experiences I’ve had, and the love I’ve felt. It’s a reminder of how far I’ve come, both as a person, and as a devotee.

And, I think He appreciates this just as much as spontaneous devotionals, if not more. With spontaneous devotionals, they’re usually always in the form of praise, honor, and thanks-giving. Because he sees us as equals, this doesn’t always jive well with him. I think he tolerates it because it is what I grew up with, and is all I’ve ever known in terms of how to honor one’s god. That being said, he has broken me out habits that he sees as totally unacceptable, such as kneeling while praying.  Even thanking him too often or for little things has gotten me scolded before, so I’ve learned to restrain myself.

Like I said, it requires work from both ends of the relationship.

I find it interesting that your patron sometimes scolds you (or, at least, has scolded you in the past) for offering too much thanks and/or praise.

This year, I studied Mormonism, mostly because I live in an area where a lot of Mormons live and I wanted to be able to at least converse superficially with them about their own religion. I did a six-month Investigation (their word for it, not mine), wherein I was told repeatedly that (1) members of the Mormon faith are only allowed to have “faith-promoting” conversations with each other and with non-Mormons—no doubting allowed—and (2) God wants a person’s praise, thanks, and worship (“positive” things), not their lamenting/sorrow, anger, or criticism (“negative” things). The idea was/is that God has done so much for us, even before we were born, that to be anything but eternally grateful and completely “faithful” (by their definition only) to Him was/is selfish, hurtful, and blasphemous.

Now, if that does it for you, then… fine, I guess. But I need a little more depth (and a little less structure) in my relationship to God, and I told the missionaries that. I am a doubter. It’s what I do. And I’m not usually a happy(-go-lucky) person, either, so 100% praise and adulation 100% of the time is pretty much right out.

I don’t have a patron deity. I don’t know, honestly, if I could really handle one very well at this point in my life, and I think the deities to whom I pay reverence understand that. Well, I don’t know what they think about it, actually, because I’m not them. I have this idea in my head that I have to get my shit together before I can have a serious relationship with any one deity so that I will take it as seriously as I think I should. It could be, though, that one of them is waiting for my life to finish falling apart so they can pick up the pieces afterward. But maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part. ^_^;; Maybe I just can’t commit. I don’t know. Maybe I’m worried about being a poor disciple.