Anonymous asked: I feel terrible reading about how other people connect with their deities. Some people literally speak with their patrons, but short of that it seems everyone but me has had metaphysical nudgings and whispers. I want to believe, but that would leave me forced to conclude that no god I pray to wants to communicate with me, which is an awfully unpleasant idea!
Hey lovely! Thank you so much for your question!
Honestly, I know how you feel. I’ve been there, and it sucks. I know some people who are still there, and who are okay with being there. I know some people who think it’s rude to ‘bother’ their gods other than when they need something ‘important.’ I’m of the belief that there’s no right or wrong way to do something; we are all different and learn and worship in different ways. What seems significant here is that you want to feel that connection, but aren’t.
Though I don’t really work with deities anymore, it bothered me when everyone else had one and for some reason I thought I needed one (or two) as well. I had trouble hearing the deities who eventually spoke to me until I heard the plants, too, the words of the leaves and branches and trees echoing around me as I walked down the street. It is because of this estrangement from what spirits are that I find some types of witchcraft (and religion) to be not for me. What is a witch but a medium, a channel, a catalyst? (Since this is a witch blog I’m assuming that you’re coming to me from a witch perspective, sorry if that’s incorrect!) As witches, how can we work effective magic if we can’t channel the voices and energies of deities and spirits?
In trying to formulate some sort of advice for you, I’ve been thinking back to when I first started to hear them, feel them, and actually begin to Work with them. Over the years I’ve come to the conclusion that all spirits and deities have different personalities, different energies - some may be more talkative than others. Some may be more guarded and closed off, less likely to be chatty and accessible. Maybe some of the deities you’ve been trying to contact don’t mesh with you energetically at the moment. Maybe they will in the future. It’s hard to know, but don’t give up! If you want to believe (in spirits), and have never been to a display of physical mediumship (particularly table tipping), I’d highly recommend it! ;) It’ll change your life!
But anyway, how to open yourself to conversations with deities? One of the most important steps is telling them that you’re open to them contacting you. Ask for signs, ask for contact. Make sure you let them know you want to be contacted. Keep that conversation going. It may be one-sided at first, but eventually they’ll probably talk back, or you’ll get the feeling that it ain’t workin’. If that’s the case, there’s nothing wrong with you - you might just have not found your right match yet. Some may find it blasphemous for me to suggest this, but IMO deities are a lot like people - no one will get along with everyone. There are some deities (and people) that I just don’t jive with. And that’s cool. Just spend time with those you do jive with.
One thing that helped me connect was physically writing journal entries to the deities I wanted to contact. In my youth these were Hypnos and Thanatos, and later on and to a much lesser extent, Aphrodite. With the act of writing them about my day, concerns, wishes, prayers, accolades to them, etc, after some time I was able to connect very strongly with them and eventually got to the point of automatic writing, where I could channel their messages into writing, without paying any heed to what was written. Someone else was moving my pen. That’s when I could start to hear them, too - and it’s because of my experience here that I have no interest in communing with any spirits or deities who I can’t have this conversational, casual relationship with. We’re all different, of course, and it’s important to remember that different deities may choose to interact with different people differently.
I hope that at least somewhat helps! Let me know if it does, I’d love to know how you’re doing on your journey!
Great response, littlecitywitch!
I’m going to offer a slightly different perspective here, as a person who does speak to deities. But really, the advice is still the same, because it’s all common sense stuff.
Anon, please don’t feel bad about it. Plenty of people don’t speak to deity, or communicate with them. Those who can speak to deity or communicate in some way with deity are really a rarity, even in the Pagan world. Most of us who do speak to deity also go through periods where our deities don’t particularly feel like talking to us.
- Don’t feel a need to have a patron deity/a constant connection with a deity, and don’t be too worried about it.
I didn’t. When I was young, I mostly worked with the Chinese Pantheon, and I tried to speak to them in prayer, and in various ways, and I never got an answer. I didn’t even think Deity would bother to speak to me until Lucifer came along, and then suddenly lots of people were speaking to me, including Michael and Loki.
Why didn’t my native pantheon speak to me? I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t as proper as they liked (They tend to be a strict bunch, in my opinion), or maybe I was just knocking on the wrong door. Maybe they weren’t the ones who were supposed to work with me as actively as Lucifer does.
- Some people do it naturally, others hone their skills over years of efforts.
Yes, it is possible to hone your skills in this. I came into it naturally (though not without a fair bit of difficulty), but others I know (such as my parents’ senior in the practice) worked long and hard for it. For example, that senior actually meditated before the gods for 15 years straight, every evening. No matter how tired he was, or how bad his day had been, he meditated. Spend time connecting with the Divine.
- Maybe they are speaking with you, just that you may not have noticed.
Aspects of the Divine exist everywhere. Pay attention to things around you. Maybe it’s the storm that starts just as you get into shelter (yes that does happen to me on a semi-regular basis), or the breeze that gently cools you on a hot day, or even the sunrise, or the sunset. Don’t believe that you can only speak to Deity directly, that’s just limiting your range of communication. Even in normal human interactions, we communicate through speech (words, tone, etc), but most of our communication occurs though body language (expression, actions, etc). So why would you only expect to see and hear Deity? Can they not caress you through the wind, or kiss your cheek with gentle rain drops? Keep that sense of wonder in you.
- Just like any relationship, don’t rush into it. Take small steps.
- Do research, and try to find a deity that fascinates you and is compatible (to a large extent) to your beliefs and your attitude to life.
Even before I started communicating with Lucifer, I was already doing a lot of His work. I was always the devil’s advocate, so to speak, always offering the alternative viewpoint, and different ideas. I loved knowledge, and I’ve always believed that knowledge was a key to almost everywhere. And since I’ve always remembered, I was always fascinated with Him, even when the only thing I knew about him was from Christianity.
- Wait for it.
If there’s one thing about the Divine, is that they do things on their own time and own agenda. You may have given up trying to speak with Deities (like I did), and suddenly one will pop up (like Lucifer did).
- It’s always worth it.
It is. Because after all that waiting, and all that work, that connection with your deity would be all the more appreciated, all the more cherished for it. So don’t give up, and don’t get discouraged.