this song would pierce her heart

Asexuality

issythezombie:

I have come to turns that I may actually be panromantic instead of pansexual.

While I am one of the dirtiest, perverted person I know, I actually don’t enjoy the thought of sexual acts being done to me. I don’t like to be touched too much or even kissed much. It feels weird and I don’t like it.

What I want in a boyfriend or girlfriend is just the same as having a best friend just with the title.

I dunno… I don’t think about sex with “normal” people, just actors and the characters they play. When I see someone, I think about hugging them and going on dates and that’s all. Not that I wanna do it with them. I may joke about it, I joke about sex a lot, but I really don’t.

UGH.

I dunno. 

I wanna be able to know what I am and not be so confused.

Maybe I’ll just say I’m asexual since I am not interested in sexy times at all with people. Unless you’re Misha Collins, then you hit me up.

Demisexual? I mean, there’s this:

What if it’s a phase?

What if it is? That doesn’t stop you being asexual right now.

It may be tempting to hold back on accepting your asexuality in the hope that eventually you’ll ‘bloom’ into a sexual person. I’m not saying that might not eventually happen, but consider this: do you want to spend your life thinking of yourself as an undeveloped person, living for the dreamed of day when you’ll become whole? Might you feel more comfortable accepting who you are now as a whole complete valid person? Maybe one day you will “bloom”, and if and when you do, you won’t have lost anything by being comfortable in the mean time.

There’s no shame in identifying as one thing and then later identifying as another. Your identity isn’t meant to limit you. If you’ve moved on or changed, then by all means describe yourself differently. If you fear you might be different in the future, that doesn’t change which label is most useful to you in the present. There’s nothing wrong with change.

skankassqueer:

microaggressions:

At the company I’m working at this summer, I’m the only intern programmer who is female.  Whenever I meet someone new who realizes I’m a programmer, they usually end up commenting at how lucky I am, because “software companies always want to hire women!”

Makes me feel like people in the industry will always see me first for my sex, and second for my technical abilities and accomplishments, if at all.

woman is a gender not a sex god damn it

what you said. though, this person is equating “female” (a biological sex) with “woman” (a gender presentation), so her problem isn’t that she’s female or a woman, it’s that people perceive that aspect of herself to be the most important thing. that being said, if she was biologically male and presented as a woman, she would still have this problem, so it’s still what you said.

(via skankassqueer-deactivated201207)

lexina:

I just want to know that feeling that everyone else experiences. To look at someone and find them sexually attractive. Like, “Look at that person! I’d have sex with them.” I find people attractive, but my definition of attractive is different from others. I like people for who they are. If I happen to fuck him or her, it’s random. I like sex, yes, but I can live without it. I’m an idiot when it comes to sex because… I don’t crave it. I don’t look for it. I don’t… Need it. I just like sex because of the closeness. You think after the six people I have fucked this would have changed by now. I just want to be like everyone else, dammit. This is too hard to explain.

godsdamnit get out of my head. T_T

maymay:

“An uncooperative female quickly puts a stop to this activity, in which case the male leaves without bothering her further.”

—The surprisingly gay world of insect sex - Nonfiction - Salon.com

If insects can grok “no means no,” so can you. No more excuses: consent counts. End of story.

THANK YOU. how is it that insects can get this and humans somehow have a hard time with it?

maymay:

“Japanese pornography is so dominant here [in China] and they really promote the image of young innocent submissive female, and they appear to be underage. I interviewed a lot of guys who say that, yes, this is my primary fantasy. I want to see this submissive girl. What does it mean? I think it means that it gives the guy the sense of empowerment. They can handle the submissive girl. So in this fantasy world, they can deal with this kind of girl, but it doesn’t mean that they have this girl in real life but the fact that they have to probably deal with the quite powerful women around them. In Japan there are studies explaining that this fantasy is a reversal, a sense of weakness and incompetence that Japanese male was like spoiled by mothers also. In China it’s a little bit similar. […] I found a lot of Chinese men and Chinese women have different aspirations…so does it have anything to do with the fact that they create the fantasy of easy submissive girl. Maybe it’s related. It’s a kind of reversal, that they can dream about submissive girl, but in reality, those Chinese men are rejected so badly by Chinese women, for instance on dating sites. The Chinese women are very demanding, and they publicize their requirements. And the Chinese men feel quite bad in a way. So I can see that Hong Kong and China is patriarchic. And I know that in reality, in the workplace, and at home, men have a lot of power. But that’s also just one way of investigating the reality. There’s also other realities where women have a lot of power as well.”

—Dr. Katrien Jacobs, interviewed on China: Sex, Censorship and the Rise of ‘People’s Porn’ by Global Voices

(See also: Anti-censorship best practices for the sex-positive publisher.)

This is what subtle sexual adultism looks like: Dear Everyone In Fandom Under The Age Of 18,

maymay:

All right, I’m going to go out on a limb and stir the pot (not to mention mixing my metaphors), because it’s a very gross pot:

mooserrific:

singofthedamage:

[Dear Everyone In Fandom Under The Age Of 18,]

It’s not that I don’t think you should participate in fandom. I myself started at 15. But FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, do not advertise your age anywhere if you are writing/commenting on/or doing art for a story with an adult rating (in other words, PORN). Because that gets REALLY TRICKY for those of us who are adults and have to think about child pornography laws (a blanket term that ALSO includes rules about PROVIDING people under 18 with porn). 

Thank you for your time,

J.

GOD, THIS.

No, fuck that shit.

If you’re under the age of 18 and you want to participate in discussions about real or imagined sex or sexuality of any kind, it’s true you’ve got to do it really carefully for everyone’s sake—yours and others’. On the other hand, that very fact shows just how ageist and puritanical our society is.

I am very glad to hear that people who are legally minors are making themselves and their interest in “adult” sexuality discussions known. I hope these discussions are self-affirming for all parties, and conducted in a way that respects everyone’s participation as well as their personal boundaries. But I am also glad that some of these conversations are clearly making the people with power—the adults—uncomfortable, because it forces them to acknowledge young people’s presence and, more importantly, the validity of their presence.

If you are an adult and you are bothered by having to think about child porn laws, then guess what, you are privileged. You are probably someone who should be on the front fucking lines of fighting against the incredibly harmful censorship and morality laws that are so commonly used to target you and young people under the disingenuous guise of being “for your own protection”!

Because, really, how dare any community encourage behaviors that make it necessary for an individual to lie to protect themselves? What right do you have to pressure someone into lying about their age anymore than you have to pressure them to lie about their sexual orientation or race or gender? And it’s not like this is news; women routinely use gender-neutral or even traditionally male-sounding names online because they are likely to be harassed otherwise. Since this is far less common in fandom, I’d like to think that fandom communities are filled with people who are damn well aware of the pain of feeling ostracized for something about yourself that you are powerless to change—like your gender or age.

Systemically silencing or discouraging youth from participating as empowered, fully self-actualized and self-expressed individuals in sexuality discussions is called sexual adultism and it’s a fucking detestably common behavior pattern I’d like to see ended.

So, wanna fix this problem faster? Stop telling young people to shut up or lie. Encourage them to speak truth to power, support them when they do, and then do your part, too.

Thank you for your time.

this times one million.